Angel woke up in the morning to find Buffy touching his face again.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Your still here.”

“Where would I go?”

Buffy smiled slightly.

“Hungry?” Angel asked. Buffy nodded. “Come on then, lets get you something to eat.”

Angel led Buffy down to the kitchen to find Lorne cooking.

“Morning compadres. Just making omelettes. Anyone want?”

“Put us down for two.” Said Angel.

“And how are you this morning princess?” Lorne asked Buffy.

“OK I guess. I feel weird.”

“Of course you do. But don’t worry about it we all feel weird from time to time.”

Buffy offered a weak smile. “Smells good.”

“It is good.” Said Lorne serving the first omelette up. “And for such a complement you get first offerings.”

Buffy took the plate and smiled weakly. Angel led her over to the table where she sat with Kathy while Angel got her some juice.

Buffy seemed to have no problems eating on her own this morning, although she couldn’t finish it all.

Everyone made small talk but Buffy just sat there watching.

“Buffy.” Said Angel when they were finished eating. “I want to go over a few things later today. Do you feel up to that?” Buffy shook her head. “That’s OK. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

Buffy looked relieved.

“Willow and Xander are coming over later,” he said. Buffy smiled slightly. “I thought the three of you could go clothes shopping.”

Buffy nodded but looked scared.

Angel took her hand. “Don’t worry. They’ll look after you. And you can’t go around wearing my clothes for ever.”

Buffy nodded but still didn’t speak. Angel wondered if he’d caused her to relapse again.

He reached across the table and took her hand. “Buffy, look at me.” She met his gaze. “You will be fine. I promise you. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

“Why can’t you come?”

“I have some work to do here. I’m sorry but I have to. You will be OK, honestly.”

Buffy nodded again.


Willow and Xander arrived a little later, Angel led them to Buffy who was sitting on the deck again.

“Oh my god Buffy.” Said Willow rushing to hug her. “You’re… You’re, well you’re…”

“Hey Will.” Said Buffy, cutting her off.

Xander came next though he was more reserved. “Good to see you up and about Buff. Ready to shop till you drop? A-man here’s going to give us his credit card.”

“I’m ready.”

Angel kissed Buffy lightly. “The car’s outside waiting, it’ll take you where ever you want and wait for you.”

Buffy just nodded.

“OK, come on.” Said Willow taking Buffy’s hand and leading her out. Buffy glanced over her shoulder as she left, her look pleaded with Angel not to make her go.

Lorne came up behind him. “She’ll be fine. You know it.”

“I know, I know. I just wish it felt fine.”

“Look she’s only going to one store, she’s being driven there and back and she’s with her two best friends.”

Angel sighed. He knew all that. It didn’t stop him feeling like he’d betrayed her though.

“We have work to do.” He said simply.

“We do.” Agreed Lorne. “But first you and I need to talk.”

“What about?”

“Buffy. You haven’t told me the truth have you?”

Angel looked down. “Not all of it.”

Lorne listened as Angel recounted his history with Buffy.

“I first met her when my girlfriend of the time, Darla, was babysitting for the Summers. Buffy was 7 but she seemed older, wiser. I liked her. She and Darla fought all the time but the weird thing was Buffy won most arguments, and she was usually right. Darla could be a bit of a bitch at times.” He sighes at the memory.

“Gradually we built up a friendship. I began to see her and her friends when Darla wasn’t babysitting. We kind of formed a brother sister relationship. I could tell her anything and I knew she’d keep it to herself. She did the same with me. We spoke a lot about our families, her’s were fighting. I could relate to that. It was just fun to get away from Law School sometimes. She was this free spirit and no matter what my problems were, I could forget them while I was with her.”

“But that’s not all is it?”

“No.” Angel had never told anyone this before. He knew he could trust Lorne, he was just ashamed of himself. “As Buffy grew up the relationship changed. The innocent touches became something else. We both tried to deny it but we couldn’t for very long. One day we just ended up kissing. She was only 13.”

“And you were 25.”

“Yeah. I knew it had to stop but I couldn’t make it. Every time I was with her we’d end up making out.” Angel paused to collect his thoughts. “Eventually I decided the only thing I could do was leave. I asked the firm for a transfer and they sent me to New York.”

“Did you tell Buffy?”

“I did. I explained how we could never work. Not when she was so young. I told her I loved her and I always would but I had to do this.” Angel paused. “She cried, a lot. But just before I left she came to see me and told me she understood.” A wry smile formed on his lips. “I told you she was wise beyond her years.”

Angel finally made eye contact with Lorne. “So, that’s my dark secret, I fell in love with a child.”

“It doesn’t make you a bad person. We can’t help who we fall in love with.” Something occurred to Lorne. “You came back here to see if she still wanted you didn’t you?”

Angel could see he was caught. “Yeah, partly. I didn’t have to take this transfer. But part of me never got over her. And I don’t think I ever will.”

“And 22 and 34 doesn’t seem that big an age gap now does it?”

Angel shook his head. “You can read me so well. The only other person who could do that was Buffy.”

Lorne smiled understandingly. “Come on, let’s get to work.”