*currently laughing her socks off*
Things We Would Never Know Without The Movies
Got emailed these and laughed out loud reading them so I thought I'd share
Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.
One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.
Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.
It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened to be wearing when the car broke down.
If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music in your head.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.
One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.
Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.
It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened to be wearing when the car broke down.
If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music in your head.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
13 Replies and 1638 Views in Total.
Ain't that the truth?
by Sweet-Sange
One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
Don't they also tend to leave the most attractive female alone with the suave and seductive enemy, especially when said female has just finished swimming or sunbathing in their most revealing bikini?? Or am I imagining things?
by Sweet-Sange
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
by Sweet-Sange
It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.
So true. Every ep. of buffy and xena, there so patient waiting for their turn like that.
I love that one, it always happens
by Sweet-Sange
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time
so far i've found all these things true in real life, but saying that i've not come across many of them.
Thing I have learnt from Action Movies:
No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands.
To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she's cold or not from across the room.
There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to bed with you, and the type that want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old.
If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won't he fire me, but he will gain a profound respect for me.
If I can find an important enough mission, it will supercede my obligations to perform household chores, bathe, and call the next day.
If I go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore me.
If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with me.
Anyone who isn't a cop, mercenary soldier, and/or private investigator is a homosexual. Or at least a sissy.
If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends.
My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.
When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a 'flesh wound,' which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.
If I'm white I will befriend at least one black guy, or one white guy if I'm black. If I am Latino the monster/villain will kill me halfway through the film, urging the hero to even greater levels of violence.
If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.
If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.
If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.
If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or game of any type, I will win. This will infuriate my opponent, who will then try to kill me.
If I am given a surprise attack, I will be attacked by only one or maybe two people at a time, and I will find that I am well-skilled in Karate and Jujitsu, and if all else fails, I will always have one last firearm hidden somewhere on my body.
If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like 'Rick' or 'Steve.'
Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and ask, "When's the last time you got any sleep?" They will never ask when I last bathed or used the toilet, although I apparently never do those things either.
While chasing or fleeing from an enemy, I can drive anything with a motor recklessly at 100-130 miles per hour without a seat belt, with ammunition filling the passenger seat, and nothing will fall out of place. Also, no police will ever catch me; they'll just look in amazement in my direction.
No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands.
To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she's cold or not from across the room.
There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to bed with you, and the type that want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old.
If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won't he fire me, but he will gain a profound respect for me.
If I can find an important enough mission, it will supercede my obligations to perform household chores, bathe, and call the next day.
If I go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore me.
If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with me.
Anyone who isn't a cop, mercenary soldier, and/or private investigator is a homosexual. Or at least a sissy.
If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends.
My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.
When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a 'flesh wound,' which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.
If I'm white I will befriend at least one black guy, or one white guy if I'm black. If I am Latino the monster/villain will kill me halfway through the film, urging the hero to even greater levels of violence.
If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.
If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.
If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.
If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or game of any type, I will win. This will infuriate my opponent, who will then try to kill me.
If I am given a surprise attack, I will be attacked by only one or maybe two people at a time, and I will find that I am well-skilled in Karate and Jujitsu, and if all else fails, I will always have one last firearm hidden somewhere on my body.
If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like 'Rick' or 'Steve.'
Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and ask, "When's the last time you got any sleep?" They will never ask when I last bathed or used the toilet, although I apparently never do those things either.
While chasing or fleeing from an enemy, I can drive anything with a motor recklessly at 100-130 miles per hour without a seat belt, with ammunition filling the passenger seat, and nothing will fall out of place. Also, no police will ever catch me; they'll just look in amazement in my direction.
LOL@Inc - Those were good ones too
Or whip MmmmmmmmmmmmmmmHarrison Ford
by Incandenza
If I am given a surprise attack, I will be attacked by only one or maybe two people at a time, and I will find that I am well-skilled in Karate and Jujitsu, and if all else fails, I will always have one last firearm hidden somewhere on my body.