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I like the sound of that relationship
by Pegasus
Never join your girlfriend of wife
Posted: 00:21 Jul 01 2002
The Male Commandments
I found this in a magazine and giggled 
When queried by a friend's wife, girlfriend or mother, you must not provide any useful information as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
When you use the blokes' loos, there must be a minimum of one empty urinal between you and another man. If this isn't possible, you're out of luck - hold it until later!
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man (even rememberly your best mate's birthday is optional )
Only in a situation of mortal danger are you allowed to kick another man in the 'family jewels.'
Never let your friends wear speedos. Never Ever. Issue closed.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in criticizing a mate of yours, except if she withholds sex until you respond.
When on a holiday with the lads, no matter how sunburned you and your mates get, it is inappropriate to rub sunscreen on each other's backs.
So lads - do you agree with these? And are there anymore
(Edited by Pegasus 01/07/2002 00:31)
When queried by a friend's wife, girlfriend or mother, you must not provide any useful information as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
When you use the blokes' loos, there must be a minimum of one empty urinal between you and another man. If this isn't possible, you're out of luck - hold it until later!
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man (even rememberly your best mate's birthday is optional
)Only in a situation of mortal danger are you allowed to kick another man in the 'family jewels.'
Never let your friends wear speedos. Never Ever. Issue closed.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in criticizing a mate of yours, except if she withholds sex until you respond.
When on a holiday with the lads, no matter how sunburned you and your mates get, it is inappropriate to rub sunscreen on each other's backs.
So lads - do you agree with these? And are there anymore
(Edited by Pegasus 01/07/2002 00:31)
15 Replies and 2123 Views in Total.
Posted: 00:21 Jul 01 2002 
Never leave a wet towel on the bed, unless you wish your wife/girlfriend to be extremly scary, and with-hold mature relations for a month.
If only men would take heed of that one.
If only men would take heed of that one.
Posted: 13:31 Jul 01 2002
Yeah most of these are true, the loo thing especially.
The sister thing..can I just say oops and recommend any other guys don't go there
The sister thing..can I just say oops and recommend any other guys don't go there
Posted: 14:02 Jul 01 2002
Is there something you'd like to share with the group, Milky
Posted: 15:28 Jul 01 2002
'Never let your friends wear speedos. Never Ever. Issue closed.'
someone should have told that bloke that me, Red and lots of peeps saw in southend! that was scary!
someone should have told that bloke that me, Red and lots of peeps saw in southend! that was scary!
Posted: 15:39 Jul 01 2002 Nope
by Mishelisa
Is there something you'd like to share with the group, Milky
Posted: 17:52 Jul 01 2002
Enjoyed that
Have a couple to add
a) Always leave the toilet seat up
b) always leave the cap off the toothpaste andsqueeze from the middle
c) NEVER EVER EVER support the Germans - no matter who they are playing!
d) Never show another bloke any affection unless it is a manly hug (with distance) or unless you are completly pi##ed when you can then tell anyone that you love them .
anyone got any more?
Have a couple to add
a) Always leave the toilet seat up
b) always leave the cap off the toothpaste andsqueeze from the middle
c) NEVER EVER EVER support the Germans - no matter who they are playing!
d) Never show another bloke any affection unless it is a manly hug (with distance) or unless you are completly pi##ed when you can then tell anyone that you love them .
anyone got any more?
Posted: 18:31 Jul 01 2002 Can you then define a manly hug, Dm, I have always wondered about this. Is it one of thoses where you launch yourselfs at each other then preceed to firmly pat each other on the back,and talk in your lowest deepest voice type thing.
by Dangermouse
Never show another bloke any affection unless it is a manly hug (with distance) or unless you are completly pi##ed when you can then tell anyone that you love them
Posted: 18:39 Jul 01 2002
Not being a male myself, I have decided to add a few female 'ones'
Always deface his FHM mag when he leaves it face-up showing scantily clad female, and threaten to stab him if he even goes near your Brad Pitt calender.
Always wear a really hard to undo bra, preferably front-fastening, and giggle when he fumbles.
and that all time fav, giggle uncontrolably when hisbest mat tells an unfunny joke, which makes him think rapidly for his best joke, which i might add you've already read in afore-mentioned mag.
Always deface his FHM mag when he leaves it face-up showing scantily clad female, and threaten to stab him if he even goes near your Brad Pitt calender.
Always wear a really hard to undo bra, preferably front-fastening, and giggle when he fumbles.
and that all time fav, giggle uncontrolably when hisbest mat tells an unfunny joke, which makes him think rapidly for his best joke, which i might add you've already read in afore-mentioned mag.
Posted: 18:51 Jul 01 2002
I was questioning my single status until I read this
(Edited by Taz 01/07/2002 19:26)
Sisters are doing it for themselves!
(Edited by Taz 01/07/2002 19:26)
Posted: 19:25 Jul 01 2002
I just went down those rules and realised I have broken 5 of them already, what does that mean.
Ehh don't know how to cope with this one, might get stuck in the middle don't want to upset my mate as she might hit me, and could end up upset and crying, but if I don't support a girlfriend then she might hit me and could end up upset and crying, guess I would just try and get out of the situation before I break out crying for getting in the middle of them critizing each other.
by Pegasus
Never join your girlfriend or wife in criticizing a mate of yours
Posted: 16:30 Jul 09 2002
What about this rule
When queried by a friend's wife, girlfriend or mother, you must not provide any useful information as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
Why does this rule assume the friend is male. Ok the friend may have a girlfriend, a mother (or I suppose a wife if they went to the correct legal juristication) but equally the friend could have a Boyfriend or I suppose a husband. And then again if the friend was male he could have a Boyfriend or I suppose a husband.
Who made up these rules
When queried by a friend's wife, girlfriend or mother, you must not provide any useful information as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
Why does this rule assume the friend is male. Ok the friend may have a girlfriend, a mother (or I suppose a wife if they went to the correct legal juristication) but equally the friend could have a Boyfriend or I suppose a husband. And then again if the friend was male he could have a Boyfriend or I suppose a husband.
Who made up these rules
Posted: 10:30 Jul 10 2002