1 If he wears a comb-over, he gets the brush-off!

2 I'm my own money manager. I manage to spend it all.

3 Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything different.

4 I found a mobile phone plan I really like. It's called borrowing somebody else's.

5 You know, it's funny how football's been over for weeks, yet I still feel like yelling.

6 Everything looks so tiny when you're flying. Especially the food they stick in front of you.

7 My car has heated seats. That is, if the sun beats through the windows just right.

8 I was planning to get a flu shot until I found out it wasn't a kind of drink.

9 I can't use a mobile phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for gestures.

10 I had a tummy tuck this morning. I tucked it inside my tights.

11 Work stressing you out? Try to perfect that one thing that makes any job more bearable -- the fake cough for calling in sick.

12 I'm not short-tempered! I can stay mad for days!

13 Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.

13 Forgive me if I snap at you. I'm myself today.

14 Chocolate reduces stress. And it's so much quieter than throwing a screaming fit.

15 Entertaining in your back garden? The key to a nice looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who's muscular and shirtless.