ooooooooh for heavens sake.. *groan* lol
This is *really* bad!! *g*
Okay, don't berate me if you've read this before. just thought I'd post it for those who hadn't. It's another groaner
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Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
> swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called
> Christian.
> The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
> patrolled the area.
> Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at
> being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries
> about being eaten..."
> As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious
> Cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin
> Turned into a shark.
> Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by
> his old mate.
> Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself
> becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away
> whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new
> menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming
> alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.
>
> Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He
> begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into
> a prawn.
> With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends
> and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn
> cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he
> searched for his old pal.
> "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best
> friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
> Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture,
> He set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories
> came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin,
> your old friend, come out and see me again.
> "Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the
> enemy and I'll not be tricked.
> "Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've
> changed.".....................
> "I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
> swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called
> Christian.
> The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
> patrolled the area.
> Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at
> being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries
> about being eaten..."
> As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious
> Cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin
> Turned into a shark.
> Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by
> his old mate.
> Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself
> becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away
> whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new
> menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming
> alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.
>
> Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He
> begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into
> a prawn.
> With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends
> and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn
> cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he
> searched for his old pal.
> "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best
> friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
> Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture,
> He set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories
> came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin,
> your old friend, come out and see me again.
> "Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the
> enemy and I'll not be tricked.
> "Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've
> changed.".....................
> "I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian"
14 Replies and 1322 Views in Total.
"No, but my hands are sticky"
by Funky Monkey
crackin!
Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other - can you smell carrots?
#GROAN# And this is before everyone gets the christmas cracker jokes
Oh no... not the Cracker Jokes! Noooo!!
Had me chuckling at the prawn joke! I wonder if we will get a Christmas cracker joke thread this year....
It's winter in Siberia, and Vladimir and his wife Ludmilla are fighting - again.
This time about the weather.
She claims it's snowing, he says it's sleeting.
Finally they decide to go and see the old commisar, who always arbitrated in the old days.
He invites them in and offers them a glass of tea.
They all sit down, and he asks them in turn to put forward their arguments, which they do.
Afterwards, he goes to the fridge and pours himself a large glass of vodka.
As he sips at it he stands looking out the window.
He finishes the glass and gives them his reply.
On the way home both are dissapointed, and Ludmilla is about to start it all up again when Vladimir grabs her and kisses her gently on the forehead.
They look into each other's eyes and Vladimir says gently;
Rudolf the Red knows rain dear.......
This time about the weather.
She claims it's snowing, he says it's sleeting.
Finally they decide to go and see the old commisar, who always arbitrated in the old days.
He invites them in and offers them a glass of tea.
They all sit down, and he asks them in turn to put forward their arguments, which they do.
Afterwards, he goes to the fridge and pours himself a large glass of vodka.
As he sips at it he stands looking out the window.
He finishes the glass and gives them his reply.
On the way home both are dissapointed, and Ludmilla is about to start it all up again when Vladimir grabs her and kisses her gently on the forehead.
They look into each other's eyes and Vladimir says gently;
Rudolf the Red knows rain dear.......