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LOL 
Might have to record one of those onto my phone 
Might have to record one of those onto my phone
Posted: 20:04 Dec 24 2002
Answering Machine Messages
got this from a friend.... 
Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling - and I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a 'sexy' message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done (!)brushing our teeth(!), we'll call you back.
Merry Christmas!
Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling - and I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a 'sexy' message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done (!)brushing our teeth(!), we'll call you back.
Merry Christmas!
8 Replies and 991 Views in Total.
Posted: 20:04 Dec 24 2002 
What about that really irritating one you had for awhile?
by coolkat
Hehe, number 4 was my answer message for a while!!
"Hello? Hello? HELLO?? Heh. Just kidding... Leave a message."
Posted: 22:21 Dec 25 2002
I used to have "Hello <massive pause in which people invariably start speaking as they think you've answered> I'm not in at the moment please leave a message after the tone"
Also used to have "Welcome to Stephen's palace of love. If you'd like to talk to Sexy Susie press 1, if you'd like to talk to Lucious Lucy press 2, for Foxy Fiona press 3 and if you'd like to talk to Stephen then leave a message after the tone"
Also used to have "Welcome to Stephen's palace of love. If you'd like to talk to Sexy Susie press 1, if you'd like to talk to Lucious Lucy press 2, for Foxy Fiona press 3 and if you'd like to talk to Stephen then leave a message after the tone"
Posted: 22:10 Dec 26 2002