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Not all bad then
by Incandenza
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Posted: 11:19 Apr 25 2003
Dubyah Cee Vee
George W. Bush Resume
Past work experience:
Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White
Sox.
With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with
Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted
the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record
for most executions by any Governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with
the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month
period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by
any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the
worst security failure in US history.
Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other
president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
president in US history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
president in US history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use
the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to
the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US
history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an
Chevron oil tanker named after her).
First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any
country in the history of the world.
First president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the
United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more
than any president in US history.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from
the human rights commission.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from
the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no
longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
donations.
My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the
largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history.
First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation
against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied
saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a
year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more
threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US
law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government
contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our
country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no
leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any
public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the
United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades,
possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two
years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References:
At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has
been erased and is not available).
AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my
fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are
sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public
energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They
can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group forwar-profiteering.)
Past work experience:
Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White
Sox.
With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with
Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted
the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record
for most executions by any Governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with
the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:
Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month
period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by
any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the
worst security failure in US history.
Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other
president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
president in US history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
president in US history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use
the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to
the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US
history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an
Chevron oil tanker named after her).
First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any
country in the history of the world.
First president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the
United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more
than any president in US history.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from
the human rights commission.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from
the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no
longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
donations.
My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the
largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history.
First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation
against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied
saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a
year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more
threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US
law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government
contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our
country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no
leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any
public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the
United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades,
possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two
years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References:
At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has
been erased and is not available).
AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my
fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are
sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public
energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They
can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group forwar-profiteering.)
11 Replies and 1158 Views in Total.
Now the Gulf War II fever is at an end, it's likely his fellow countrymen will begin to focus on exactly how the administration has sent the US economy down the plughole.
by Keenangel
And you just know he'll be re-elected next year too
Daddy Bush lost the 1992 election for exactly this reason, despite his "war high" in the polls, so there's still hope yet.
(Well for all our sakes I pray there is.)
Posted: 15:02 Apr 25 2003
Of course, it's not unlikely he'll have found some other country to invade between now and the next US presidential election...
Posted: 15:04 Apr 25 2003
On the plus side... every Democrat voter in America felt cheated by the last election, marginalised and angry and they may be more determined to unseat him this time.
On the negative side, there isn't a single democratic contender right now worth the name.
On the negative side, there isn't a single democratic contender right now worth the name.
Posted: 15:16 Apr 25 2003
There isn't one good thing I can think of that has come out of this guy's administration. (Great list above) But I have to take issue with one thing. If Bush gets elected in 2004, it wouldn't be re-election. He would be elected for the first time, since he wasn't really elected in 2000. There is that matter of the stolen, rigged 2000 presidential election that put Bush in office--which most people here in the US want to pretend never happened.
Posted: 15:19 Apr 25 2003 He may find his willing ally is a rather less willing if he does. Tony Blair barely survived this war with his job intact, and that was against a country with a raft of UN resolutions against it.
by In a State of Dan
Of course, it's not unlikely he'll have found some other country to invade between now and the next US presidential election...
So unless Bush decides to attack Israel, he'll be doing it alone.
Posted: 15:22 Apr 25 2003 It's a shame the Iraqi information minister went and hanged himself, because he's just the sort of guy Bush could do with having on side when he tries to spell out exactly how he "won" an election where his opponent gained half a million more of the popular vote.
by Sandia
There isn't one good thing I can think of that has come out of this guy's administration. (Great list above) But I have to take issue with one thing. If Bush gets elected in 2004, it wouldn't be re-election. He would be elected for the first time, since he wasn't really elected in 2000. There is that matter of the stolen, rigged 2000 presidential election that put Bush in office--which most people here in the US want to pretend never happened.
Posted: 15:25 Apr 25 2003 The problem is that the Democratic Party has to decide to be a real opposition party. The Democratic leadership is too timid. They look at the polls saying Bush has the support of most of the American public and they shrink away, afraid to challenge him.
by Incandenza
... every Democrat voter in America felt cheated by the last election, marginalised and angry and they may be more determined to unseat him this time.
On the negative side, there isn't a single democratic contender right now worth the name.
I contend that his "support" is about a mile wide and 1/2 inch deep. I'm not sure how they're asking the questions on these polls that are being taken, but if you ask most Americans about specific issues, Bush is outside the mainstream. On healthcare, on the environment, on taxes, on education, on civil liberties, on the role of government in people's lives, and on and on, if you ask Americans what they believe on these individual issues, they don't agree with Bush's policies. So I believe that if the Democrats were to have some guts and really take him on, not for what he says, but what he has actually done, they could easily win the next election. I mean, just look at that list you printed above for a start. How incompetent does a political party have to be to lose against a person who has that kind of track record? But Bush's people are masters at PR and manipulation, especially of the media. The Democrats have just not shown the kind of leadership yet to take what they've been given and run with it. And if the Democrats continue to be as gutless as they have been, Bush will get elected in 2004.
Posted: 15:37 Apr 25 2003 
I realise this kinda repeats some of the above posts, but considering the voting irregularities in the last election, losing the next one is hardly a guarantee of an end to the Bush administration.
by Byron
Daddy Bush lost the 1992 election for exactly this reason, despite his "war high" in the polls, so there's still hope yet.
And I'd like to clarify something mentioned above. Bush's crime is not that he took office while not getting the largest vote. That's just a feature of the First Past The Post electoral system. More than one UK government has been formed when an opposition party actually won more votes. The crime was the irregularities with the ballot papers in marginal areas. The missing ballot boxes, mainly from black areas of Florida, brother Jeb's state. The actions by the Republican attorney and the Supreme Court. Y'know, basic vote rigging. Worse even than those commited by Kennedy's team in the Sixties.
And this time the biggest factor in Bush's favour is the state of the Democrat party. Not since the days of Michael Foot has a major opposition party been so ineffective. Again, echoing words above, this man has had a free ride on clear cases of insider dealing and his involvement with the Enron scandal. He has spent the deficit on tax cuts for the super rich and continues to slash taxes for the jet set, even in a time of war. On the economy, on national and international security, on the environment, on civil rights and on corruption he is a disaster. Yet there is nothing from the Democrats. After Clinton and the fiasco with Gore it seems like they're all scared to say boo to a goose. No one is speaking out against what is clearly the worst President in US history.
One last note. While the list above is equal parts funny and terrorfying, it does seem a little inaccurate. The ones regarding unilateral action and invasion and occupation doesn't ring true. Surely Viet Naam, Korea, Guam and Puerto Rico come under this as well? Which makes me question the validity of some of the other claims made. But then again, even with just the stuff that is well documented and widely known, he's still clearly the most corrupt, inept and dangerous President in American history.
Posted: 00:04 Apr 27 2003
Its a real shame that guy hung himself, he was a really cool guy. I'd rather have him on my side than Bush any day. At least he'd bring cheery optimism to everything.
And its a sort of sad irony that the master of optimism, underneath it all, must have been a wreck, hence his suicide.
And its a sort of sad irony that the master of optimism, underneath it all, must have been a wreck, hence his suicide.
Posted: 22:12 Apr 29 2003