A few random thoughts -- the first semester is always going to be the most unpredictable, and many people don't really settle in until after xmas; you may well find yourself far more comfortable in the new year.

My personal belief is that it's much better to get on roughly the right course in exactly the right uni, than exactly the right course in roughly the right uni -- if life sucks then it dosn't matter how good the course is, find the place that's right for you.

Don't forget about the student union -- aswell as the various societies and clubs that will offer you chances to meet people with common interests, the student advice center will be able to advise on changing courses, changing unis, possibly changing residence etc.

Also, Salford's not too far away from an up-and-coming town called Manchester, which last time I checked had a bar or two, a club or two, and a thing or two to do. The people who aren't socialising with you at uni are also not socialising with the rest of Machester; gang up with the other half a million mancies.

If all this fails then get drunk, take off all your clothes and dance around the bar.

I think you should give it time. Its always hard to start with, and most people I know didn't enjoy the first few months of uni but then they love dit. So i'd give it time, it'll quite likely get a lot better.

Yeah, give it a bit more time as a heck of a lot tends to change in the first semester.
Get about a bit, get out of your room and check places out, as Callum said, the union is a good place to start

Uni is a good place to start a new hobby too - that's a good place to try to make friends too

Any of the Manchester type peeps about and can give some good info, and possibly arrange a meet for SA to show her about a bit?

When my sister started uni she used to ring home every night crying coz she hated uni (more because of who she lived with) and she spent the first term coming home every weekend. By christmas she'd settled in, didn't ring home as much and didn't come home as often. Last summer she graduated with a 2-1 and now has a job doing what she wanted.

I also know someone my age who started uni at the same time as me and she ended up leaving by the end of her second month there. I settled in straight away, i'm now in my third year doing a work placement, I haven't been home since july and won't be home next till christmas.

The moral? Everyone's different. Uni isn't for everyone so don't do it coz you think you have to but don't give up straight away. It's a totally different lifestyle and you'll need time to adjust. How about asking some people on your course/in your house if they want to go for a drink with you? I'm a naturally quiet person so I know it's not easy but i've made some friends that I hope I'll never loose contact with. I hope you can settle in and enjoy uni as much as I do.

Methinks everybody's advice is best, hang in there!

Although I've not had major probs with uni so far (I'm also in my first ever semester, at Sunderland, eep! ) and I've been finding it pretty scary at times, and although I've not exactly been fighting tooth 'n nail with my flatmates, I do find 'em a bit intimidating at times (and one or two of them just plain scary!) but I'm guessing that's because they don't seem to be the dead timid/shy type that I am... plus I really do miss everyone at home too, so I can kinda relate to what you're going through, 'though from what it sounds, not quite on the same scale. But having said that, I'd say stick with it and see how it goes, hopefully *crosses fingers* it'll get better soon!

(BTW: The advice by the more uni-experienced on this thread, even tho' it was for Spitefulangel, kinda calmed and reassured me all the same.... Thanks guys! *hugs* )

well, im never planned to drop out entirely, i'm definetly gonna stick this year out and sinces its only a foundation, i won't be missing out if i do decide to leave.
i have been trying very hard with the people in my house, but im finding it really difficult when they dont seem to include me in their plans i seem to compromise with what they want to do to try and be sociable, but its never the other way, as im in the minority with my interests! i need more like minded people, but as i can see, theres no clubs or societies im interested in being involved in.
i cant envisage being here for another 3 years, the thought fills me with dread, so i don't think its the place for me....but im going to give it a good go and not waste my oppurtunity here.

i just want to keep my options open basically, im gonna have a chat with my tutor and find out what she thinks is best. hopefully if i at least have an option to apply elsewhere, then i can make a decision at the end of the year.

got in a bit of a tiz last night about it ended up crying and arguing with my parents....but they realised im not happy and obviously they want me to be and they're gonna support me whatever i decide, so i feel a whole lot better (my mum packed me off with loads of food, and told me that if people in my house didn't want to be friendly with her daughter, they obviously aren't worth it!! ahhh bless mothers )

thanks guys
any more advice/stories/experiences would be welcome

I've had quite a few crappy housemates in the past too, maybe moving house would be another option?

If you're looking at changing uni/course, ask your tutor about CATS points, iirc they allow you to carry the credits you've gained on the current course over to another course/university

Last year I had a terrible masters year and first year at Northumbria UNI (ALAN do you want to meet up if you are just down in sunderland), ended up suffering from serious depression. I was forcing myself to go out everynight in the hope of making friends. The only person I spoke to was my councillor. I tried getting involved in clubs, but never got invieted anywhere except on organised group socials (as in it would be apparent if I was not invited as it was a club event)

In summer I made a couple of really close friends, its got to the point where my councellor is asking why I am seeingn her as I moved on so much from the problems caused by not having friends last year. Even the people from the clubs are inviting me places, and tried to ask questions abo0ut how I was feeling due to things I said last year, when it was last year that I needed friends to talk about problems.

So now do not want to have the same conversataion with others abouth those issues, but my close friends who I built up trust with, so thats a total turn around. I am scared of loosing those close friends and trying to widen friendships, thats becoming easier. I am planning on going onto the sudents union exec.

Now my biggest problem is debt. Two masters have crippled me, along with the amount I was drinking last year.

Though last year I was so down spending did not bother me as I was so sure I was going not going to need to pay anything back, as I kind of thought that the banks would get the money over my dead body and I did not care as it would not affect me.

Now Im working two (part time) jobs and doing a degree.

I am still very shaken, but not as down as before. Trying to explain to people such as doctors about how I was seems harder, though I should have gone on anti-deppressants when they said.

Try and stick in their, see a councillor, I know this will do no good as last year I did not think anything would get better. But with luck and meeting the right people you will start to recover.

Not sure how relevant this is but I'll tell anyway.

When it got to the point of choosing uni's before I left schools, I couldn't. I wasn't doing 'A' levels I was enjoying and trawling through the UCAS guide only found me some 'mildly interesting' courses. Despite repeated protests from my school (only concerned because it doesn't look good on the league tables) I decided not to go.

I thought my parents would chuck a hissy fit over that, but they were fine. They agreed that going to uni just for the sake of going was a mistake so I didn't apply and got lot's of teachers upset (ah revenge is sweet)

So anyway some serious consideration later I decided to join the Royal Fleet Auxillary Service (www.rfa.mod.uk if your really that interested to find out what that is!)

So now I'm a sailor and part of that means I need to study at Southampton Institute (Well Warsash Maritime Centre but that's part of the institute) and it's going ok. I've got some good friends here and I get paid to go round the world before coming back here and sitting in the campus bar drinking lots and telling tales of the stupid things we got up to in other countries.

Sufficed to say not going to uni was the right choice for me because it didn't suit me. Sure making friends can be hard at first. I came to warsash not knowing anyone but now I have a good circle of mates. It may not happen right away but it will. I've had my ups and downs but I'm determined to stick it out until I quilify so I can be sure that I'm doing this for the right reasons. But I also agree with what everyone else has said about going out to the SU and other uni run clubs and societies. And also just cos you haven't found anything in common with people yet doesn't mean you won't get along.

Anyway I think I've talked enough rubbish. I hope this helps a bit.

If not then you can send me a (sorry just had to get that in somewhere!)

Mostly repeating what others have said, but hey ho.

I had a great first term at Uni, and was lucky in that I was living with several people who became very good friends. That said, there were also people who i spent a lot of time with that I hardly ever spoke to after the Christmas holidays, it is really surprising how much things change in the first few months.

Not getting on with the people you live with is not perfect but, as long as you don't actually hate each other, it needn't be the end of the world. As others have said, pick some societies that you think may interest you and go along for a look. They will most likely be full of people eager to make you welcome.

If you do feel that your housemates have some potential, try to make some connection with them, build relationships with them on a one to one basis. I don't know the situation of course, but it is possible that they don't invite you out because they assume you wouldn't want to go?

Try your best to be positive and build up the good things that happen, you'll naturally give off good vibes and people will be attracted to you!

im ressurecting this heh, just thoguht i'd give a little update seeing as its all just kicked off..

well basically, at the moment im on 2 weeks sick leave as advised by a careers advisor, due to "stress". things haven't really gotten any better at uni, and ive stuck it out thinking that after christmas i'd feel less lonely and start to enjoy it more, espeically as that was when i began to specialise in graphic design, which is what ive always thought was my future career.
but it hasn't got better....and i think ive been bottling it all up in the hope that it would, and on sunday it just all came out.
i was very very upset, my parents and boyfriend didn't realise just how upset i had been getting, and neither did i really...
so on sunday i went back to uni, although i really didn't want to....my boyfriend came with me so i wasn't on my own which really helped a lot, and yesterday i went to see a careers advisor. just being able to talk to someone about how ive been feeling has really helped me, and i do feel a lot better....although im still unsure about what it is i want to do.
ive got these 2 weeks off to think about whether i want to leave my course and salford university, even though i think i have already made that decision....its just nice to have this time for myself, where i can think about what i really want.
i just feel i may have rushed into things and picked something at random just so i didn't feel i was being left behind when all the people around me were leaving...so to go from being sorted, back to square one of having to decide what i want for the future, is really daunting, and not a very nice feeling at all.
ive really got to think about what i want.

i just thought i would let you all know...sorry the post is a bit lengthy and im sorry if its a bit confused in places, thats how i feel so its hard to express everything in a decent manner

*hugs*

Sorry to hear that its not really working out for you and i hope the time off helps you get your head round what you want to do. The Careers advisor sounds fab! wish they'd been as understanding as that when i was at Uni.

Hey sweetie, ive been quite lucky in that i've got my best friend here with me but I really struggled to settle in, I still feel a bit funny like i havent really made alot of effort to make more friends but I feel alot more settled.

u can always come to central lanc and we'll look after you!! ***BIG GIANT HUGS***

Email me if you need to talk or anything cause i really dont mind, always willing to listen hun!

xxxx

*loadsa hugs* from me too!

Me hopes you'll find out what you want to do soon and kudos to a careers advisor *gasp* who actually managed to help/reassure somebody...

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by Sydney
wish they'd been as understanding as that when i was at Uni.

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Yep, thanks for the reassurance! Especially when I'm waiting for an assignment referal...

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by Eve
I really struggled to settle in, I still feel a bit funny like i havent really made alot of effort to make more friends but I feel alot more settled.

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That sounds so familiar it kinda freaks me out...

Really sorry to hear that things aren't going so well for you at the moment. If it makes you feel any better (which I know it won't, but hey), I'm in a similar situation at the moment after doing three years of a degree and four years working in the industry I'd decided was where I wanted to spend my future.

I hope you come to some positive conclusions and make some funky decisions that'll make you very happy in the years to come. *Sending positive vibes your way*

I have a personal belief you shouldn't be doing something if it hurts you... But both my sister and my boyfriend *hated* their first term at uni. They both would cry down the phone every night. But they're begining to adjust now. If you feel like its never gonna get better and you just can't stand it maybe you could transfer?

i think im going to try and transfer i hope it works out, i actually feel hopeful for the future heh.. and not so down about everything!

im gonna speak to someone too, coz i do have issues with my self confidence and body image and that kind of thing, even though i have a very lovely boyfriend who makes me feel great, but it just aint enough..i dunno. i feel i need people's approval, and this whole uni thing, not making any friends and everything has only heightened my issues, and now im just thinking there must be something horribly wrong with me as a person! and thats so not right...

i do feel better now, still crying every five minutes, at absolutely anything....but i reckon i'll get through it

thanks ya

Where are you thinking of transferring to? Somewhere closer to home? You know Leicester would be happy to have you. Both me and Maff are here and we love it. Hope everything works out for you anyway

where you thinkin of transfering to sweetie? glad to hear you're feeling a bit happier! You always do when you start to get things sorted out even just a little bit!! Hope its all sorted quickly for you! xxxx