Taken from today the Daily Mail

I MUST:

1.Differentiate between the sound of a tin of cat food being opened and a tin of beans.

2.Learn that I donÂ’t like EVERYTHING that people eat

3.Acknowledge that neither the hairdryer nor the vacuum clearner is going to eat me.

4.Train my human. There is no excuse for putting a cat out in the rain – NONE!

5.Catch and eat string.

6.Learn that just because someone is sitting down, it does not mean they want me to sit on them.

7.Not be surprised that small furry or feathery things will stop playing once IÂ’ve bitten their heads off.

8.Learn that people cannot fix aforesaid small furry and feathery things.

9.Not leave bits of small furry or feathery things on the carpet.

10.Sharpen my claws so I can show my appreciation when sitting on someoneÂ’s lap.

11.Learn that neither the garage nor the shed are good places for exploring if I want to be back in time for dinner.

12.Only climb up trees I know I can climb down.

13.Not stand behind someone in the kitchen, then complain when I get trodden on.

14.Try to control myself when I smell fish.

15.Learn that standing with my nose pressed to the door will not help people open it sooner.

16.Not want to go through a door just because itÂ’s there.

17.Find somewhere to sleep that is not the middle of the hall, top of the stairs, a freshly washed cream duvet cover, a piece of coursework or the newspaper that is being read.

18.Not leave little piles of my fur wherever I sit down.

19.Not try sneaking up on the barbecue – it is hot!

20.Chase and eat as many spiders as the humans can find to scream at.

(Edited by Samphirette 19/02/2004 16:17)