Post a Reply
Back to the Forum
If you give me a note, do i get out of starting work at 9am this Sunday... *looks hopeful*
by Red
8) Thou shalt not rise before noon on the Sabbath.
Posted: 01:28 Mar 22 2002
The Church of Chocolate and Wine!
Welcome, Congregation, to the Church of 'The Red' 
Commandments are as follows ... (thanks, guys
)
1) Thou shalt drink the juice of the grape known as the 'wine'.
2) Thou shalt spend far too much time online.
3) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours DVD collection.
4) Thou shalt Google regularly.
5) Thou shalt attend Holy gatherings, known as 'Meets'.
6) Thou shalt communicate with thine own God using the Holy tablets, known as 'Boards'.
7) Thou shalt not forsake the box-set even though thou already has them all taped from Sky.
8) Thou shalt not rise before noon on the Sabbath.
9) Thous shalt worship the Famous People known as 'The Spielberg', 'The Jackson' (not to be confused with 'The Jackman') and 'The Tony Soprano'.
10) Thou shalt eat copious amounts of chocolate as penance for sinning.
----------------------------------------
Sounds daft, huh? But I can do this now if I really want to. Robbie did it, I thought I'd give it a go too, and as of Thursday afternoon I am an officially ordained Minister, able to perform weddings, funerals, baptisms and other religious ceremonies, and start my own Church, in my own country, or indeed any country where I meet their specific laws.
I have an official Certificate of Ordination. I can also apply for my Ministerial ID Card (which would, get this, give me free parking under certain circumstances) and my name will be entered on to the Ministerial Registry online.
The ease of this was quite amazing. It is all 100% legal and I can even start charging for my services! ()
So ... anyone fancies a T21 wedding, gimme a shout
(Edited by Red 22/03/2002 01:25)
Commandments are as follows ... (thanks, guys
)1) Thou shalt drink the juice of the grape known as the 'wine'.
2) Thou shalt spend far too much time online.
3) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours DVD collection.
4) Thou shalt Google regularly.
5) Thou shalt attend Holy gatherings, known as 'Meets'.
6) Thou shalt communicate with thine own God using the Holy tablets, known as 'Boards'.
7) Thou shalt not forsake the box-set even though thou already has them all taped from Sky.
8) Thou shalt not rise before noon on the Sabbath.
9) Thous shalt worship the Famous People known as 'The Spielberg', 'The Jackson' (not to be confused with 'The Jackman') and 'The Tony Soprano'.
10) Thou shalt eat copious amounts of chocolate as penance for sinning.
----------------------------------------
Sounds daft, huh? But I can do this now if I really want to. Robbie did it, I thought I'd give it a go too, and as of Thursday afternoon I am an officially ordained Minister, able to perform weddings, funerals, baptisms and other religious ceremonies, and start my own Church, in my own country, or indeed any country where I meet their specific laws.
I have an official Certificate of Ordination. I can also apply for my Ministerial ID Card (which would, get this, give me free parking under certain circumstances
) and my name will be entered on to the Ministerial Registry online.The ease of this was quite amazing. It is all 100% legal and I can even start charging for my services! (
)So ... anyone fancies a T21 wedding, gimme a shout
(Edited by Red 22/03/2002 01:25)
34 Replies and 8414 Views in Total. [ 1 2 ]
Posted: 01:28 Mar 22 2002
And so it came to pass in the year of Buffy S6 that the tangential among them were visited by a figure from the west... and terrible was her rage and crimson was her hair and Father Sarah was her name.
And so the Tangential Ones gathered to hear her speak, for their souls were parched and they yearned for the one true word to nourish them.
And Father Sarah said unto them: "Come close my children and listen to the three - not one, not two, but yea even three - words I bring to you."
And the Tangential Ones gathered closer, and still closer yet, for they were all in awe of her.
And Father Sarah spake thus to them: "These are the Three True Words: DRINK! FECK! HUNKS!"
And they were sore afraid, and somewhat deafened, to hear the Three True Words, and fell to smiting their breasts and wailing and abasing themselves.
And Father Sarah looked upon them and saw that it was good.
(Edited by Random 22/03/2002 01:37)
And so the Tangential Ones gathered to hear her speak, for their souls were parched and they yearned for the one true word to nourish them.
And Father Sarah said unto them: "Come close my children and listen to the three - not one, not two, but yea even three - words I bring to you."
And the Tangential Ones gathered closer, and still closer yet, for they were all in awe of her.
And Father Sarah spake thus to them: "These are the Three True Words: DRINK! FECK! HUNKS!"
And they were sore afraid, and somewhat deafened, to hear the Three True Words, and fell to smiting their breasts and wailing and abasing themselves.
And Father Sarah looked upon them and saw that it was good.
(Edited by Random 22/03/2002 01:37)
Posted: 01:30 Mar 22 2002 
...
by Tycho
Huh?
by Red
I am an officially ordained Minister, able to perform weddings, funerals, baptisms and other religious ceremonies, and start my own Church, in my own country, or indeed any country where I meet their specific laws.
Posted: 09:51 Mar 22 2002
wait are you serious? you can marry people? cool, do you have to have the brides consent to amrry me thoguh, i was thinknig we could do it without her knowing. oh and also can you marry yourself? that'd be well cool, we'd make a great couple
Posted: 10:16 Mar 22 2002 Not sure whether this makes me want to laugh, cry, scream, run ...
by SPIKE
wait are you serious? you can marry people? cool, do you have to have the brides consent to amrry me thoguh, i was thinknig we could do it without her knowing. oh and also can you marry yourself? that'd be well cool, we'd make a great couple
Posted: 12:28 Mar 22 2002 Where's the rolleyes smiley when you need it?
by SPIKE
wait are you serious? you can marry people? cool, do you have to have the brides consent to amrry me thoguh, i was thinknig we could do it without her knowing. oh and also can you marry yourself? that'd be well cool, we'd make a great couple
Darn it, if only I hadn't have just booked the Register Office you could have married me and my beloved
Posted: 13:11 Mar 22 2002 
Posted: 15:06 Mar 22 2002 
Hey Sange are you running yet?
by SPIKE
wait are you serious? you can marry people? cool, do you have to have the brides consent to amrry me thoguh, i was thinknig we could do it without her knowing. oh and also can you marry yourself? that'd be well cool, we'd make a great couple
Wow our own T21 minister
So can you turn water into wine yet? 
Posted: 02:53 Mar 23 2002 There is noone called Sange here she left when she read this post and hasn't been seen since ...... Thank you please leave a message after the tone Beep Beep Beepppppppppppppp
by Pegasus
(quotes)Hey Sange are you running yet?
Wow our own T21 minister
Posted: 07:28 Mar 23 2002
by Pegasus
So can you turn water into wine yet?
I'd never get anything done!
Working on it as a priority though!
by Random
And Father Sarah spake thus to them: "These are the Three True Words: DRINK! FECK! HUNKS!"
*LMAO!* Random
Words to live by!
Posted: 10:31 Mar 23 2002
wow you start possibley the most popular relgion *ever*
Posted: 16:09 Mar 23 2002 
Red well with you being able to marry people now and stuff I'll make sure I give that guy that wanted to marry his playstation your number I'm sure you'll be able to help him out 
I'll make sure I give that guy that wanted to marry his playstation your number I'm sure you'll be able to help him out
Posted: 10:21 Mar 24 2002
LMAO !!!!
I'd heard that it was really easy to become a minister - now we have one in our midst !
Do I have to have any kind of baptism to become a member of this church ??
I'd heard that it was really easy to become a minister - now we have one in our midst !
Do I have to have any kind of baptism to become a member of this church ??
Posted: 12:27 Mar 24 2002
head2head ... if you promise to worship the holy grape and the good Lord Cadbury (oh, and bring me a creme egg if we ever meet) you're in!
Posted: 16:41 Mar 24 2002 [ 1 2 ]