I wish to God I had a transcript of how this idiot explained his predicament to hospital staff and the fire brigade. No doubt when the firefighters were told, they were tempted to put the sirens there and speed there with all haste to take the proverbial (I know I would). Until a transcript is available, I'll just have to settle for this brief BBC article:

Fire brigade use cutting equipment to free trapped man (warning: link directs to article that may cause life threatening spit takes)