As my rave reviews of Kill Bill testify, I'm a sucker for a revenge tale, and this is a good one. Good concise introduction that chucks you straight into the action, and it looks like you've already got your protagonists' backgrounds well-developed. I'm intrigued by the difference between Eastern and Western concepts of revenge, and from your characters' varied heritidge I get the feeling this might be worked into the story. You've already got some good debate on it going in the first chapter.
The badguy seems rather one-dimensional at present, but he's only had one scene, and I'm willing to bet that observation will be put firmly to rest when we see more of his contrasting public and private personas.
This might be a bad case of someone in a glass house throwing stones, but I hope you can finish this one: I get the feeling there's a basis for a great story here.
The badguy seems rather one-dimensional at present, but he's only had one scene, and I'm willing to bet that observation will be put firmly to rest when we see more of his contrasting public and private personas.
This might be a bad case of someone in a glass house throwing stones, but I hope you can finish this one: I get the feeling there's a basis for a great story here.
