Summary: As before.

Chapter 2

Angel pulled up outside the Summers house to see it dark but the front door standing open. He knew she was here and not at the dorm, he could feel her.

He entered the house wary of attack. What ever had caused Buffy her pain could still be here. He didn’t hear or see any signs of danger though. He looked around and noticed steam at the top of the stairs. He followed it.

He found Buffy sitting in the shower, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She was sobbing.

Angel turned the light on and went to her, kneeling beside the bath.

“Buffy?”

She didn’t reply or acknowledge him in any way. Angel could see her lip was split and bruised.

“Buffy it’s me.” He said reaching out and toughing her shoulder.

Buffy instantly pulled away and her crying became harder.

Angel didn’t understand it. He stood up beside the bath.

His heart cried out in pain when he saw it. A line of blood, mixing with the water, heading for the plughole.

He almost became hypnotised by it. The swirling of it around the plug before it ran out. The stream that ran between her legs, wider and thinner depending on the water.

What hypnotised his wasn’t the blood itself. His vampire wasn’t the problem here. What had been done to Buffy was.

Someone had violated her in the worst way imaginable.

Angel knew if he stayed there he would scare Buffy. He quickly ran out to the street and picked a fight with the tree in the summer’s front garden.

He pounded on the tree with all his might, punching, kicking, again and again, trying to work his anger out. Anger wasn’t what he needed now.

Anger would come later.

Finally he collapsed in a heap at the bottom of the tree, physically and emotionally exhausted. But he didn’t stay there. He couldn’t. Buffy needed him.


Angel washed the blood from his own hands. Then, being careful not to touch her Angel put the plug into the bath and added some herbs to promote healing. They were probably something Willow had given Buffy for any bad fights she had been in. Buffy didn’t seem to notice him again. She was still crying but softer now, as though she had no energy left.

Angel spoke soothingly to her, explaining what he was doing and reassuring her she was OK now. He would look after her.

He left her briefly to fine something for her to wear. He chose a big, navy towing robe he found in the airing cupboard and with some fresh towels returned to Buffy. He noticed her clothes on the bathroom floor for the first time. They were ripped and covered in blood. It was physically painful for him to touch them but he picked them up and threw them out before returning to her. She didn’t need any more reminders.

The water that had collected on the bath was now a pink colour. Angel released the plug and let the water drain away. There was still blood flowing but it was less than before. Angel thought it probably looked worse because it was diluted with water.

He put the plug in again and added more herbs, all the while talking softly to her.

Finally she moved. She opened her eyes and wiped the water from her face. More water cascaded down on her though so Angel redirected the showerhead for her.

“Buffy.” He said again.

She looked at him. It was a look he would never forget. Her features were haunted.

“I couldn’t stop him.” She said weakly.

“I know. I know. It’s not your fault.”

Tears sprung anew from Buffy’s eyes, silently they rolled down her face.

“I got you something to wear.” He said as he placed the robe by the bathtub. He handed her a towel. “I don’t know if it’s what you want, it was the best I could find.”

Buffy stared at the towel.

“Come on,” encouraged Angel gently. “I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

Buffy reached for the towel and looked into his eyes. Angel gave a small smile, he hoped it was reassuring.

“I’ll be downstairs.”

Angel waited until Buffy made a move to get up, then he left her. The last thing she needed right now was a man to see her naked.

Angel boiled the milk and called Sunnydale. He was brief and told them nothing useful, he just explained he wouldn’t be back any time soon then hung up.

He finished making the chocolate, two mugs, to Buffy’s he added a large shot of brandy. Buffy hadn’t appeared by this time so he took them and went to find her.

Buffy was in the bathroom, the towel wrapped around her, staring into the mirror at her reflection. He saw her reach out and clear the steam again.

Angel picked the robe up and placed it around her shoulders, encouraging her to put her arms in the sleeves. She did.

He pulled the robe closed, tied the belt and guided her to the hallway, then to her bedroom. He didn’t remove the towel underneath for the same reason he hadn’t stayed while she changed.

He sat her on the bed. She immediately drew her legs up again in a protective posture. He found Mr Gordo and gave him to her. Buffy accepted the toy and hugged it.

Angel retreated to get the drinks and handed Buffy one.

He had very little experience of this type of trauma but his hope was that childhood things, like hot chocolate and her toy, would make her feel safe again.

Angel sat at the other end of the bed from her and sipped his drink.

“Should I call anyone?” he asked.

Buffy shook her head. “No. I cant… I can’t deal with that too.”

Angel nodded. “Is there anything you need?” she shook her head. “Can I do anything?”

Another shake.

“Where’s your mother?”

“LA, buying trip.”

Angel nodded this time. “Drink up.” He encouraged. It wasn’t much but the milk and sugar would help her slayer metabolism to heal her. Hopefully the brandy would calm her slightly and let her get some rest. He knew she wouldn’t get much sleep tonight but he didn’t want to leave her to find sleeping pills. He made do with what he had.

‘Herbs and Brandy.’ He thought to himself. ‘Not exactly the recomended approach.’

“I’ll set up a bed on the floor.” He explained to her. “If you need me I’ll be here.”

Buffy looked into his eyes. She didn’t smile but Angel could see she was grateful.

Buffy wanted to ask him to hold her. To lay in her bed with him, to feel protected by his arms. But she couldn’t. The image was nice but when she thought of the reality of his hands on her she knew she couldn’t do it. It wasn’t Angel, she would have felt that way about anyone right now.

Angel silently made his bed up on the floor and went to turn the light off.

“No. Leave it on.”

Angel nodded. “You should get under the covers.” He said.

Buffy nodded. Angel took great pains not to touch her directly as he pulled the covers down and back over her form, she now lay in the foetal position, facing his bed on the floor.

Angel lay down in his makeshift bed.

They lay silently, both hoping for a sleep that would probably not come.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered almost silently as Buffy drifted off to sleep.

“Sorry?” she asked. He had thought she was asleep.

“Sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

Buffy smiled humourlessly at the sentiment. “Me too.”