Chapter 22

Buffy was still shaking from her encounter with Leonard. Angel did his best to comfort her but to little or no avail. Once they arrived at Maria’s, an Italian restaurant, Giles ordered wine for everyone. Buffy gulped down a glass and gradually her shakes stopped.

Angel ordered a small pasta dish but just to fit in. The talk was cheery and the wine flowed freely. Angel noticed with each glass Buffy came out of her shell a bit more, joining in with the conversation, smiling and generally having fun.

Angel sometimes just sat back and watched her. It was rare these days to see a smiling Buffy. He knew they had hard times ahead still but he would enjoy tonight. Happy times were few and far between for a slayer so he would make the best of them.

They left the restaurant after midnight, everyone going off in separate directions to their respective homes. Angel asked Buffy if she wanted to call a taxi or walk.

Fear passed through her features momentarily but soon passed. Angel wasn’t sure weather it was the victory tonight, the wine or the face she had him to look after her. Whatever the reason she asked if they could walk.

Arm in arm they strolled back to Buffy’s home. They spoke of happy times both together and apart. Angel told stories of Wes and Cordie’s antics. Buffy related a few tales of her own humorous occasions.

They arrived home unscathed and happy.

“Looks like Mom’s asleep.” Buffy commented.

“Do you want to wake her and tell her?” asked Angel.

Buffy thought for a second. “No, I wont wake her. I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

Buffy opened the door and they entered. “You fancy a movie?” asked Buffy.

“Uh, sure. Aren’t you tired?”

“No, I feel,” she flexed her muscles. “I feel alive, vibrant… I can’t explain it I just know I don’t want to sleep.”

Angel figured she still had adrenalin in her system. He didn’t mind staying up, he was a creature of the night after all. “What do you want to watch?”

“You pick something. I’ll be back in a sec.” Buffy disappeared into the kitchen as Angel looked through the video collection. Most of the movies didn’t mean anything to him, he wasn’t exactly a film buff. He settled on the Godfather in the end and hoped Buffy liked his choice.

Buffy returned as he was setting the film up with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Buffy are you sure you want to carry on drinking?”

“Hey, I’m celebrating.” Protested Buffy.

Angel dropped the matter as she poured two glasses and handed one to Angel. She set the bottle on the table and snuggled into Angel as the film began.

Angel felt uncomfortable. He had held her countless times recently but something about tonight was off. She wasn’t seeking comfort tonight.

Buffy finished her wine and poured herself another. Angel had barely toughed his.

“Drink up.” Buffy admonished as she cuddled into him again. This time she put her arm around his back and rested her head on his chest.

Buffy finished her second glass of wine and passed it to Angel to set on the side table. She rested against him again, her now free hand playing with the buttons of his shirt, poking her finger through the holes to tough his chest. She undid one of the buttons to allow better access and slipped her hand inside his shirt.

Angel had had enough. He roughly pulled Buffy’s hand out of his shirt. Buffy leaned up to kiss him. Angel took her by the shoulders and sat her upright.

“What’s goin on?” he asked

“Nothing.” Replied Buffy innocently.

“Then why the come on. Buffy you know we cant. We’ve been there, done that. It doesn’t work.”

“But it did work.” Protested Buffy. “It worked until you left. Why can’t we do that again?”

“I have to return to LA soon Buffy. My life is there.”

“So, we’ll have a long distance thing. I can do that. It’s not that far away anyway.”

“Nothing’s changed Buffy. I still want you to have a normal life, a family, a future.”

“I don’t want that Angel, I want you. I love you.”

“You don’t want me.” Said Angel figuring things out. “You want a safe relationship.” Buffy didn’t reply. “Well, it’s the truth isn’t it?”

“No. It’s you I want Angel. The fact we cant, you know, well it isn’t important to me. I just want you.”

Angel sighed. “Buffy, I know you don’t see it now but one day you will want a proper relationship again. You will want sex and children and sunlight.”

“No, I wont.”

“You will. I’m just a convenient, safe thing to practice on in the mean time.”

Tears began to well in Buffy’s eyes. “How can you say that to me?”

“Because it’s true.” Angel snapped back. “You don’t want me, you want someone safe. Sorry but I don’t play games Buffy.”

“You bastard.” Buffy shouted as she stood up and ran upstairs.

She went straight into her room and closed the door. Angel followed and knocked on her door.

“Go away.” Buffy shouted.

Angel sighed and went to tidy up down stairs before going to bed.


Buffy lay curled up on her bed crying. Why didn’t he want her? Wasn’t he supposed to love her? Was she damaged goods now? Would no one ever want her again?

She lay there letting Angels words swim around in her head until she eventually fell into a restless sleep.